(MUSIC PLAYING)
- JEFF: Thank you, baby. - (SIREN WAILING)
(SIGHS) Well, well, well.
Jeff Goldblum here.
I'm an actor.
I play a little jazz music.
A curious cat, that's true. (PURRING)
And I guess I'm always on the lookout for the unexpected.
You know, I think that when you explore the ordinary, sometimes...
you might just discover the extraordinary.
Sneakers. Wonderful, wonderful sneakers.
I'm standing here in front of
what to the untrained eye, I'm sure,
looks like a big wall of colorful footwear.
The value of all the shoes on this wall...
is somewhere around a million dollars.
MALE NEWSCASTER: The sneaker industry has become
a multi-billion-dollar business in just three decades.
Now, there are every color of the rainbow.
Popular everywhere, from the basketball court to the boardroom.
MALE VOICE: Part of this is a mind-game.
Even if you're not a dancer or an athlete, you can feel like one.
Sneakers started out, ah, as simple foot protection...
for our lovely feet.
Today, they've been transformed into something much more...
curious.
(HORN BLARING)
JEFF: Oh, look at that. There's a picture of little me.
It was in this period where I wore just one pair of play shoes.
- Hi, kids. - JEFF: There we go. Keds.
Let's all sing the Keds song.
JEFF: I think they came in just black or white.
They probably cost about five bucks.
It was the shoe that I took my first dance classes in.
Then, you know, several decades,
and for me, a whole bunch of movies later...
that play shoe...
has become a whole different animal.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Sneaker Con.
Look at this, I don't know if you're seeing it in the background, but lines.
Must be thousands of people here to get sneakers.
Wish me luck. I think I'm gonna need it. I'm going in.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, this is the Huntington Convention Center,
and it's Ellen Burstyn with an international congregation
who have descended upon this place
in order to worship at the altar of Mr. Sneaker.
- (CHUCKLES) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- How old are you? Thirteen. - Thirteen.
What's the most you've ever paid for a shoe?
Eighteen hundred.
- Wait a minute. You gotta be kidding. - Yeah.
These shoes are worth...
- Twelve to fifteen, yeah. - ...twelve to fifteen thousand dollars?
- They're collector's items. - JEFF: Uh-oh.
Wait a minute.
Look at that. Look what people are willing to spend.
Hey, so, I've been given a contact
in this garish, yet fascinating, foreign land.
- A Mr. Jaysse Lopez... - (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES)
...who, among so-called sneakerheads, is a real-life man of legend.
This is the first time, I've never been to a Sneaker Con.
It's such a great show because, look, you have people
from all walks of life
that are all excited about the culture, right?
And in this six to seven hour time frame,
you're gonna see millions of dollars being exchanged.
- JEFF: Millions of dollars? - JAYSSE: Yeah.
JEFF: Now, why have they become so valuable like that?
And why are they willing to spend all this cash?
Think baseball cards.
With baseball cards, when you collect, right,
- you're consumed with the chase, right? - Well, yes, yes, yes.
And it's technically just a piece of paper.
- And just because there's... - Yeah.
...a different image or a different player,
it all of sudden is worth more...
- JEFF: Right. Right. I see. I see. I see. - ...than the next piece of paper.
- So it's the same concept. - Yeah, I get it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Does anybody ever try to put one over? Does anybody make counterfeit?
- Oh, yeah. It has a lot to do... - Us...
...with the weight, the smell, the textures, the box.
- That's the correct smell. - Really?
- Let me memorize this. - It's almost like sniffing wine.
- We like that. It's got a nice... - (CHUCKLES) But in a shoe.
There's a note of chocolate and leather, fine leather in there, and, mm, I like it.
- Is this deal going down right now... - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- ...as we speak? - So...
My dollar is 34,000.
- Thirty-four thousand. - Oh! What do you mean?
That's what all these amount to? Thirty-four thousand dollars?
- Correct. - You're asking for that table of shoes?
BUYER: Thirty-four thousand, correct.
So, that breaks down to about 309 a pair...
- Huh-huh. - ...all right?
- Three hundred and nine dollars a pair? - Wit... Correct. Three-O-nine.
(WHISTLES)
I'll do 328.
BUYER: Okay. How about let's make it 33?
I could do that. Would you do a bank transfer?
Is bank transfer cool? I could...
That's the killer right there.
- I can't do bank transfer? - No.
I'd prefer to do all cash.
All right, give me a second off camera, is that cool?
- Off-camera, one second? - (JEFF CHUCKLES)
Oh, boy. (CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.
Oh, boy. Fredo... (SNIFFLES)
...I've got two million dollars in that case.
I'm gonna go take a nap, when I come back if it's not on the table...
(STUTTERS) ...I'll know we don't have a deal.
- If it is, I'll know we do. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
It's not personal. It's business. Remember that, Michael.
- It's not personal. It's business. - JAYSSE: ...as long as we're doing 999...
I hear them. Don't look.
Don't try to eavesdrop what they're doing. It's very exciting.
Something's going down. Something's going down.
I'm going back in, okay? See if I can help.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- JAYSSE: Yo, cool. Done. - BUYER: Okay.
- We have it? - We have it.
- So, we've figure... - You shake on it. You shake...
JAYSSE: We've figured out our work-around.
- BUYER: There you go, my man. - JAYSSE: Huh.
- Sneaker... - (CHUCKLES) First deal of the day.
Sneaker Con on three.
- One, two, three! - One, two, three!
- Sneaker Con. - Sneaker Con. (CHUCKLES)
JEFF: When you get to learn the rules of Sneaker Con, you suddenly see that...
that everybody is in on the game.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES)
They've become this object of worship.
And the question is, how'd we get here? How'd all this happen?
Well, it happens that it's a whale of a tale,
with some connections that are quite, quite, ah, curious.
Well, it all started about 60 million years ago,
way, way back when trees became a favorite food
for giant, great big, creepy crawling bugs.
(BUG BUZZING)
JEFF: So to defend themselves,
these trees developed a poisonous sticky substance...
essentially rubber...
which was flexible and waterproof.
Now, it had a quirk, it melted in the sun.
And, then, a few million years later, there was a guy named Charles Goodyear,
and he accidentally dropped it on his stove
- and saw it transformed into a... - (SIZZLING)
...an elastic material kinda like leather,
and this so-called vulcanized rubber changed
our modern world,
launching everything from tires, to hoses,
to bouncy balls, and of course...
the wonderful sneaker.
And today, those sneakers are in a fertile period of evolution.
- Hail Darwin! Hail Darwin! - (JEFF HUMS)
So, here we are in Portland, Oregon, at the headquarters of Adidas.
Adidas. Or some people say Adidas.
(CHUCKLES) Well, hello. Hey. Look who's hiding behind the ferns.
Good day, Jeff. How are you, mate? Paul Francis.
Paul Francis. Paul Francis. You should feel this handshake.
- Very good. (CHUCKLES) - Come on. Come on.
Wow! (CHUCKLES) Wow!
- Just forget everything before you leave. - Forget everything, really?
All right.
Here goes. Wow!
Wow, I did not expect this.
- This is Elise. Elise, this is Jeff. - Nice to meet you.
JEFF: So nice to meet you, Elise.
The information that we're gonna extract from Elise today,
we're gonna share with our designers and our engineers,
and that actually goes into creating the future product.
- PAUL: Now, this is Elise running. - It's... that's Elise?
I had no idea we were going to see her without any of her muscles or flesh.
- This is just her skeleton. - PAUL: This is just her skeleton.
I hardly recognize her.
PAUL: What I really geek out on is how the foot strike
is gonna be affecting things further up the chain.
JEFF: And what do you see? Are you seeing anything interesting?
PAUL: Yeah. So, she's rotating more to the left.
- JEFF: Hmm. - PAUL: And you can see the different bend
in her lumbar spine there.
So, anything that we change down at the footwear level
is gonna have consequences as we go further up.
JEFF: Paul Francis
- and his researchers... - (MACHINE WHIRS)
...create special shoes for elite athletes.
And, now, look at me. Jeez, who's the lucky boy?
We might get you to run across the force plate there.
JEFF: Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- Ready? - So, Tom, we ready?
Okay. Okay. Force plate. (PANTS)
- Force plate. (CHUCKLES) Force plate. - TOM: Oh.
- That was pretty close, yeah? - (JEFF SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
TOM:
I thought I was right in the middle of that force plate.
It's the first time I've ever missed a force plate.
PAUL:
- JEFF: - PAUL:
- JEFF: Well. (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES)
I'll charge over. Yeah, yeah! Wow. Okay. Hey, that was good.
- Yeah? - PAUL: It was pretty good,
but there's still a bit too much bop.
Let's try and have one without the bop. No bop.
I... I don't know what you mean by bop. What do you mean?
Take a more natural stride.
JEFF: Natural. I'm totally natural. (CHUCKLES)
- I'm totally natural. Yeah. Okay. - There we go.
- JEFF: That's me. I'll be darned. - PAUL: Yeah.
Whoa! That's dynamic.
- And now we go frame by frame. - (CLICKING)
JEFF: Get going.
- There you go. - JEFF: Okay.
- PAUL: Your bopping is a mid-foot strike. - (CLICKING CONTINUES)
- JEFF: Ah! - PAUL: So, there's those
- that land primarily through the heel. - JEFF: Boom. Yeah?
PAUL: And then there's those, uh...
much like yourself, that land mid-foot.
How would we then adjust the sneaker?
Seeing as how I land right on the middle of the thing,
do we wanna do anything different with the sneaker?
Yeah. There's a potential that we would need to put
a little bit more support through the mid-foot for you.
- JEFF: Mm-hmm. - PAUL: But we don't normally see
the other foot at this point of the stride.
- That's only seen in boppers. - JEFF: Mm.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, I actually... (CHUCKLES) ...don't think
- I've seen that on the screen. - (CHUCKLES)
- Really? - PAUL: Yeah.
Hang on.
(CHUCKLING)
JEFF: So we did the scans, and now my...
my new nemesis, Paul Francis, has something...
that he wants to show the Big Bopper, and that's me,
a device that helps him design shoes, I guess.
You're going to do something with my brain
that has to do with... (STUTTERS) ...sneakers.
What are you up to?
Okay. (CHUCKLES) Um...
Every athlete wants to be better, but not many want to change.
And many times, the obstacle to change
isn't that they doubt the performance of the shoe.
It just doesn't look good and feel good.
You mean, the athlete has to take a look at this,
say, "Oh, here's the shoe," and go,
"I like it already. I haven't even felt it on my foot,
"but I like the way it looks, I think this is gonna be, hmm."
And this is a technological way of assessing, analyzing how their...
- what they think about it. - PAUL: Yeah.
I mean, they can tell you what they think about...
They go, "I don't like the looks of that, Paul, but..."
But not every athlete can articulate...
- exactly what they're feeling. - JEFF: Yes.
You can tell by this machine whether I'm feeling...
PAUL: The probability of engagement, joy, anger,
surprise, fear, contempt, sadness, and disgust.
JEFF: Paul's sneaky spectacles claimed to be able to read my mind
by studying my facial expressions. Jeez! That's what I do for a living.
- Okay. - JEFF: Sir Francis.
You know, I make funny faces. So, en garde.
Tell me the emotion there that you're looking for.
I'll try to produce it now and see if you... if it registered. Go ahead.
PAUL: I wanna see if you can do contempt on your own.
Okay, I'm gonna act contemptuous, think contemptuously,
see if it registers, really.
Yeah, off the charts. See that?
Okay. Surprise.
(GASPS, BLOWS)
- Nothing? - No, it did, it did come in.
It came in on delight.
- (CHUCKLES) Okay. - PAUL: Um.
Here's delight. Here's delight and joy.
(MOANS)
Oh, joy! Bang! Look at that.
- Oh! - Maybe you are a good actor.
I can't thank you enough.
- Paul Fra... Can I take off my... - You can.
- ...my beautiful glasses. - You're sad that it's ending.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Well, sneakers seem to be as much about the brain as they...
as they are about the body. Hey, maybe that's why they're so popular.
And that popularity can trigger a kinda, you know, mob-like...
wild frenzy when those sneakers made for top elite athletes
go on sale for the rest of us.
(ALL SHOUTING)
JEFF: Oh, yeah. The desire for the latest sneakers
can just drive us hog wild if they're just out of reach.
Or only available to a select few...
Survival of the fittest.
...who might be willing to spend hours in freezing cold temperatures.
You guys got your first peek at the shoes. What did you think?
I love it. I mean, it looks so much better in person.
It's worth catching hypothermia.
JEFF: Uh, well, here we go. Basketball.
And it was basketball that put sneakers
- into the... (CHEERING) ...stratosphere. - (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- How you calling? - JEFF: The players we're watching here
are some of the very best around, of course.
I'm not just blowing smoke. They're quite good.
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(CHUCKLES)
- You're Mouthpiece? - The Voice of Venice Beach.
- They call me Sik Wit It. - Sik Win It?
- Sik Wit It. - How'd you get that name?
Like the way I play, my style, they say, "Oh, he was sick!"
What would my nickname, my basketball nickname be?
MOUTHPIECE: If you played in your prime, I probably would've called you "The Fly."
- SIK WIT IT: The Fly. - JEFF: Oh!
- There you go. - (ALL CHUCKLING)
I think I'm in my prime now.
I think I'm just on the threshold of my prime.
The only thing I've ever done is play street ball,
two on two, three on three, that kind of stuff.
How about girls play with boys?
(ALL CHEERING)
PLAYER 1: Let's go!
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL CHEERING, CLAPPING)
SIK WIT IT: Grand-master.
- Saginaw, Michigan! - I get... Oh.
(ALL CHEERING)
- MAN: Real easy. - MOUTHPIECE: You like that, don't you?
JEFF: That was good.
JEFF: You know, my uncle...
my dad's brother was named Chucky...
and the story goes he would've been in the NBA.
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
JEFF: Anyway, I'm off the subject.
You're spectacular players, of course.
How big a part do the shoes play in that?
- SIK WIT IT: Big part. - Big part.
- They do? - CAPPIE: Yeah.
You can really be having a bad day, not playing well,
or you wake up and don't really wanna play today.
And the coach be like, "Aye fellas! I got new uniforms and new shoes."
- And everybody like, "Whoo!" - (ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- MAN 1: Yeah. MAN 2: You want that new shoe.
So shoes make... Can make you feel a certain way,
or you can feel about somebody else. You go, "Wow, look at those shoes.
- "Watch out." Or... - PLAYER 2: Really. Right.
Okay.
SIK WITH IT: Yeah, shoes do speak to a person.
MOUTHPIECE: Like if we see somebody with a hole in their shoe.
- JEFF: Really? - PLAYER: Oh, yeah.
- Really? - Like, how rough is your life?
- Come on, man. - (ALL CHUCKLING)
So first of all, what do you think of this jacket?
- MAN: I love it. - CAPPIE: It's Rag & Bone?
- SIK WIT IT: And it's for the new age. - No.
- CAPPIE: It looks good. - JEFF: Look at these socks.
(ALL CHUCKLING)
- JEFF: Look at that sock. - SIK WIT IT: The symbols.
JEFF: Now, here we go. He's doing the laces different.
SIK WIT IT: That's what I said, move the circle out a little bit.
- MOUTHPIECE: We don't tie our shoes. - PLAYER 2: Yeah, you're casual right now.
- So just casual, I'm like this. - (ALL CHEERING)
JEFF: Like this?
(ALL CHEERING, CLAPPING)
(LAUGHTER)
SIK WIT IT: That's not a basketball shoe, too. Let's talk about that.
- MAN: Yeah, ha. - Tell me about it.
Are all these... Are all these specifically basketball shoes?
When you get a shoe, your shoe would have to match your whole fit.
MOUTHPIECE: (CHUCKLES)
(SCREAMS)
JEFF: Wait a minute. I know now what I must do.
I, Jeff Goldblum, must create a shoe.
Yes, un... unlike any other.
4000 Broadway.
Ah, I'm here to find the place of this special guy
who's, I'm told, quite exclusive.
And, ah... and that's all I'll say now.
I don't wanna spoil the surprise, yours or mine.
Ah! Ah!
I didn't hear anything.
I hear something.
(CLICKS, DOOR OPENING)
- Dominic. - Good morning.
- I'm Jeff. Are you Dominic? - Dominic.
Wow.
Wowee, wow, wow, wow. Uh-oh.
Dominic Ciambrone, also known as the Shoe Surgeon,
is one of the world's leading custom sneaker makers.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
JEFF: He's a maverick artist who's created shoes
for everybody from Justin Bieber to LeBron James.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
JEFF: His sneaker masterpieces cost anywhere up to a hundred thousand dollars.
And he's agreed to create one of his phantasmagorical pieces
just for me. How about that?
I have been saying my whole life, but especially now,
I want my foot to feel as comfortable and supported and... (SLURPS)
...delicious as possible.
- But I... - At the same time, look good...
- But I want it to be... - ...and feel good in it. Not by com...
- ...presentable. Right. - Yeah, that's why I'm here.
- How long have you been doing this? - I've been doing this for 17 years.
- Seventeen. - I started in high school.
- Yeah. - Painted a pair of shoes.
Went to school the next day, everyone was like, "Oh, do mine."
So that's kind of where it started.
- Tell me about this spectacular thing. - Yeah.
- I see... Is it a wasp? - DOMINIC: It's a hornet.
It's a hornet. Now, what in the world is it doing in a shoe?
I wanted to really do something more unique.
No one's ever put a real...
hornet, that died of natural causes, into a shoe.
Right here is different textiles and materials
- that you can kind of skim through... - Well.
- ...while I ask you some questions. - JEFF: Yes...
- I'm an open-faced sandwich. - DOMINIC: All right.
All right. I'm seeing a lot of black.
Well, you know, I do like to mix black with...
um...
dark blue.
- (CHUCKLES) - JEFF: You know.
A gold glitter and a silver glitter.
So, I like a zebra print, a tiger print, or, uh,
- any kind of animal print. - Yeah, I get it.
JEFF: Here we go. This is right in my sweet spot.
- (CHUCKLES) Okay. - I like Rat Pack, jazz musician,
Thelonious Monk, rock 'n' roll, but kind of bohemian.
I don't like bourgeois fancy things.
Bohemian artist and poet...
that's what I'm trying to affect, you know...
(STUTTERS) ...you know, if I'm trying to make any impression.
Do you have anything that I can look at to kinda pick your brain?
Well, yeah.
- Did I tell you the story about my... - (DOMINIC SNIFFLES)
...dad's, um, brother?
(STUTTERS) Chucky Goldblum.
Chucky was my height, looked like me.
And was a spectacular basketball player.
Look at him. Geez, he does look like me there.
- Doesn't he? - DOMINIC: Wow.
This is very interesting right here to me,
- the satin of the jacket... - Oh.
...the W, the collar.
- Like, you know, a college jacket. - (JEFF INHALES DEEPLY)
JEFF: Well, yeah.
- I have a question for you. - What?
Were dinosaurs real?
Were they ever real?
- (CHUCKLES) - What kind of question is that?
- Yes, of c... - There's a thing.
There's a thing where the world is flat still
and people think there was never dinosaurs.
Um... Those people...
are...
- (INHALES) Let me put this nicely. - (CHUCKLES)
- ...are incorrect. - Okay.
- MALE VOICE: One billion years B.C. - (GROWLS)
JEFF: I get the sense that Dominic
likes to look at things a little differently.
Which should make for an interesting shoe.
Oh! Oh!
- DOMINIC: That's some zebra print. - (SINGS) Me likey. Me likey.
- Platinum silver. - Oh! Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Didn't I say shiny, shiny... (STUTTERS) - DOMINIC: Silver and gold.
- ...silver and shiny gold. - Yep. I need to get a ladder.
Oh, why you want me to reach anything for you?
(SINGING)
- (DOMINIC LAUGHING) - (CHUCKLES)
I've been... (STUTTERS) ...caught up and immersed in just our choosing,
not even thinking,
and now it's striking me, as if for the first time,
all this is going to become, with your magic cauldron...
- Yeah. - (INHALES) ...some kind of shoe.
I can't wait to see. (CHUCKLES) I can't wait to see.
Speaking of which, that is really
at the heart of the sneaker success story.
Because waiting for that moment of revelation...
well, today, that's become a real thing.
(CLACKS)
JEFF: Let's meet Jacques Slade.
Hey guys, what's poppin'? Jacques Slade here.
JEFF: He's got over a million subscribers to his YouTube channel.
And his videos have been watched over 250 million times.
I like that. I think I'ma stick with it.
JEFF: What does he do? He opens boxes.
So, let's take a look inside. So, this is the new Jordan.
Oh, yes.
And there you go.
I'll see you guys soon. Peace.
JEFF: Me, I'm about to get my own private tutorial.
- Hello. Is there a Jacques Slade here? - Yes. I am Jacques Slade.
- Are you Jeff Goldblum? - I am. (CHUCKLES)
- Let's go upstairs immediately. - JACQUES: So good to see you.
So, this is the sneaker room/studio.
- Wow. So now, you have much to teach me. - Yes.
JEFF: May I enter the sanctum?
- Whoa. - The inner world, so...
I do this with, obviously, a couple of cameras.
I have a camera there, a camera up here...
- JEFF: (WHISPERS) Yes. - ...just to show the top-down-angle.
And then this is obviously what I call the A-camera.
- The purpose of the unboxing is... - Mm-huh.
...to give the people the experience of the sneaker.
When I was a kid, around Christmas,
- the news channels would always have... - Mm.
...these people come on and talk about all of the coolest toys
that were coming out during the Christmas season.
And so, I picture this as a more updated version of that.
But I'm able to do it, obviously, more frequently,
and not just at Christmas time.
- But I wanna see you unbox. - Okay.
- Let's... - Let's get to my...
- Let's get you unboxing. - (CHUCKLES) ...unboxing.
Okay. (STUTTERS) Howdy-doody.
- Oh! - Howdy doo, howdy...
-Okay, let's get you...
- We gotta get you an intro. - Oh.
I don't know how this develops,
- it just kinda developed over time. - All right. Let's see.
It's, "Yo, yo, yo. Hey guys, what's poppin'? Jacques Slade here."
- Oh, something percussive. - "Back with another unboxing."
- So, I'm gonna have you do an unboxing... - So...
- ...and I'll... grade you. - Gra...
I'll grade you a little bit.
- JEFF: I like to be graded. - DOMINIC: I'll take some notes.
How you doin'? What's going on?
Nice to see you. Turn it around. It's a truck.
Now, what kind of truck is this? Wait a minute, don't tell me.
It's not a garbage truck. Is this a gar...
It looks like some kind of truck that does something.
"I have an idea, boss.
"The next pair of shoes, we send in a garbage truck."
Oh!
A lovely blue box. And now I'm gonna turn it around again,
and I'm going to extract one blue, one green.
Oh, yes. Oh, I'm seeing something.
And from overhead, you're seeing it there... Ah!
Well...
you know, nothing wrong with a pristine lawn.
Nike has come out
with a grassy, grassy shoe.
- Mm, mm, mm. I like it. (CHUCKLES) - (JACQUES CHUCKLES)
JEFF: Let's see some graphics at this point.
Okay, fancy graphics. Fancy graphics.
Jacques has hit upon something that's hard-wired
in each and every one of us,
- anticipation. - (DOG PANTING)
JEFF: Because in my brain and yours, there's a chemical called dopamine...
that gets released and makes us... (CHUCKLES) ...happy.
It peaks not when we get something,
- but crazily, just before. - (CROWD SCREAMING)
Which explains why the Christmas build up is often better than the...
than the big day.
And unwrapping gifts
is sometimes more exciting than the gifts themselves.
Even when the unwrapping is done by somebody else.
I thank you for coming. Glad you got to experience this.
- When it... - I'm thrilled. May I give you a...
- Let's do it. Let's do it. Hug it in. - Come here, come here.
But don't rush it. Don't rush it in any way.
- Okay. No. - And don't just give me,
- don't just give me perfunctory taps. - Yeah.
- Okay, okay, we gotta, we gotta... - Something...
- ...okay, embrace it, embrace it. - Yeah.
JACQUES:
- (JEFF CHUCKLES, INHALES) - JACQUES:
- (EXHALES) - Yeah.
JACQUES:
And, yeah, and...
JEFF: Science. Jeez, I love science.
And psychology, and a certain amount of style...
has turned a simple mass-produced, rubber-soled...
shoe into...
an icon.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - JEFF: And now, my waiting
is just about over.
- I have a delivery for you, sir. - Ah.
Oh, you can cut out that "sirs" stuff. It's just Jeff.
- May I? - Thank you, sir. I do appreciate.
I said cut out... that's... I gave you a direct order.
Is that what you do when I give you a direct order?
There it is. There's the sign of the Shoe Surgeon. All right.
Um... (GROWLS)
Just for me.
Just before I open these sneakers... let's take a...
little moment to consider what we've been... (INHALES)
...talking about.
Are sneakers an exemplar
of the excesses of marketing and consumerism?
Mm-hmm. I think so.
Can they also be a vehicle for the continuum of cultural creativity
and robust enterprise?
Yeah. Yeah.
We've discovered that, you know, we all want stuff...
but more than that, I think we want to want...
stuff. Gimme, gimme, gimme. I want, I want. I need.
I want and I don't even know what I want.
It's the pursuit of happiness.
That's what we're wired up to get jazzed about,
you know, the date that's upcoming, and the shopping excursion...
(STUTTERS) ...for the new hat tomorrow,
and the vacation that is a ways down on the calendar, or...
a box that as... is as of yet, un...
opened.
But here we go, the moment is nigh.
If not now, when? If not me, who?
Me who? Ready?
- MALE VOICE: Hold it there. - Hold it there.
JEFF: Now, you have a choice.
If you want to continue in your blissful unknowing,
keep your glims glued, um, shut.
But if you wanna satisfy your curiosity,
open your peepers now 'cause here it comes.
(IMITATES DRUMMING)
Unboxing now.
Oh, we see the contents.
(SLURPS) We see a lovely shoe bag.
- Huh-huh. - (RUSTLING)
I think I'm doing that with some panache.
And here is our first look. Wow!
All-black sneakers.
Holy cats.
Inside, only known by me, zebra furry pony under-tongue.
Wait a minute.
I'm seeing this "W," and you know what? I know what it is.
Dominic, dear fellow, you took notice of that picture that I showed
of my uncle, Chucky.
There's the satin of the jacket and Westminster College.
This exact "W" was on the jacket, and Dominic has gotten it.
Jeez! I think I love these shoes.
(SIGHS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)